The new medicine regime has been working and I have been able to think again-clearly think. Hope was being restored again. I had told Bill I was going to sell off all of my equipment in the studio because I was never going to be able to do it ever again. It has been a 4 month fog not to mention the physical problems. But with the reduction of the chronic migraine pain, reason was returning again and so was the inner spark of my personality!
And then when I awakened yesterday, I was slammed with a full on severe migraine! I lose my vision in my right eye for about 1/2 hr to 45 mins and when the vision returns, so the pain begins-imagine an ice pick behind your eye! I added more migraine meds to two I am already taking and stayed in bed! As the pain receded a bit in the late afternoon, I got up and cut out the fabric; I was grateful the brain fog had not returned, just the pain. And just before dinner, my vision turned to sparkles, signaling round two. It was hard to fight off disappointment!
This morning, I just feel a bit fuzzy and near tears (the usual migraine hangover symptoms) but I am able to follow thoughts still so I didn't lose too much ground!
I have struggled these last months on every level of my being--can you imagine stopping all of the things you do--all of our crafting-knitting, sewing, quilting, spinning, painting, wood turning, not to mention running of your household, caring for pets, driving yourself places, teaching at church and traveling ?!!!
I had to ask who am I? Am I only defined by what I do? I am afraid I have placed way too much importance upon that foundation. It has been a long road of ups and downs. I hope these last two migraines are the final bookends to this adventure!
